The 100th Post! 20 questions.

Over time, I've received various comments/questions/queries regarding blogs, birding and information in some of my posts.  These questions are important to me and I feel that the 100th post is the time to answer some of these.

1.  In your post "The Opponent Lottery" you say, and I quote "I simply undid my belt, jumped out of the car, gave the international hands-by-your-sides gesture for 'come on then'...." does this mean you were going to whip the lorry driver with your belt or that you took your belt off just so your trousers would fall down?
Jim, Sheffield.

It was just so my trousers would fall down, Jim

2.  Hi Q, how many birds are there in the world?
Molly, Cheltenham.

Hi Molly.  It's a tricky one to answer, but I've always thought it was about 9500.

3.  Do you think mankind will ever visit another galaxy?
Brian, address withheld.

No Brian, I don't think so.  Our galaxy to is some 100,000 light years across, so at the speed of light (which is physically impossible) it would take 100,000 YEARS (!) to cross it, never mind get to another galaxy!

4.  What's your favourite, Golden Grahams or Cinnamon Grahams?
Alan, Leeds.

I haven't tried Cinnamon Grahams, so by default, Golden Grahams.

5  Will putting a plastic Heron i my garden scare away little birds like finches and tits?  I don't want to scare finches and tits away, I just like the Heron.  My wife's Dad, my father-in-law, bought a plastic Heron online but when the package came, they'd sent two by mistake!  So I got the spare one out of the loft.
Jim, Sheffield.

I don't think a plastic Heron will scare away little birds like finches, Jim.  Although they might not go too close.  And thanks for the interesting story regarding the plastic Heron dispatch cock-up.

6.  Does birds do flying south when?
Peter, Broadmoor.

I have no idea what you are asking whatsoever Peter.

7.  What's your favourite area at Spurn?
John, Kilnsea.

I like canal hedge.  Although I preferred it years ago when you could walk between here and little hedge.  It's the area I cover first.

8.  How's your blog going?
Craig, Hull.

Erm, you're asking a strange question there, Craig.  The question implies you don't read it, or you'd already know how it's going.  Which means you're not interested in it. And if you're not interested in it, why are you asking about it?  Ginger twat.

9.  Why are you always having a go at me in your blog?  Can't we be friends?
Lee, Bucks.

That's two questions Lee so fuck off.

10.  Can't you just answer my first question please?
Lee, Bucks.

That's three now Lee.  For fuck's sake, you can only have one.

11.  Jim from Sheffield's had two.  Why do you keep on having a go at me in your blog?
Lee, Bucks

Cos I want to.  Happy now?

12.  Is there any chance of a virtual tour of Spurn?
Colin, Portugal.

Yes, I can do that for you Colin.  Quite a good idea that.

13.  Who's gonna win the fucking World Cup?
Bill, Norfolk.

As in the next one?  Fucking Spain.  You started the swearing.

14.  Are any of these questions real?
Elvis, Graceland.

Yes, some of them are, Elvis.

15.  Can't we just be friends?
Lee, Bucks.

Lee, will you just fuck off.

16.  Why did you mention my bellend in one of your posts?
Bill Oddie, London.

I don't really know, Bill.  Sorry if it caused offence or embarrassment.  I wasn't suggesting anything about you bellend.  I've never even seen it, for the record, readers.

17.  In your post from 7th April, there's picture of a bird with the caption "a person from lincs" underneath.  What does that mean?
Graham, Lincs.

The bird is a Yellow-bellied Sapsucker, Graham.  Does that explain it now?

18.  Are you just padding this out just to get to a round 20 questions?
Anon, 17 Cliff Terrace, Portsmouth.

No.

Bill, Question 16.

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Dipping

Well, it's been a while.  How are you all?  Fine? Oh that's great then.  I was worried that all of my readers (2) had disbanded and deleted me from their favourites.  Oh the relief.

Woe is me.  Everytime I decide to "go for" something, it duly fucks off that very day.  First the Seaforth White-tailed Plover/Lapwing decides to fly to Holland whilst I was driving to see it on Merseyside, then the Welsh Marmora'a Warbler does one after spending a week in south wales, now the Baird's Sandpiper that has been frequenting, wait for it, Kent, no Nottinghamshire, decides to leg it just as I was going to pay homage to this little nearctic wader bird.

Still, it's the 100th post of this blog next time 'round, a true cause for celebration or total dispair, whichever angle you view from.  It's going to be a big one, trust me.

Dip.

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Round-up

"We're just waiting, and hoping for an explosion of Messi magic" the commentator said during the Argentina game during the World Cup.  I thought I'd turned over 'accidentally' to Babestation for a minute.  He really did say that too.  Notice how it's taken me a long time after the World Cup to mention football?  That's because I'm only just getting over the performances of our national team.  I've just noticed that an anagram of "it's the national team" is "the total inanimates" which describes the movement and desire perfectly. 
Hell's teeth, I must be bored/boring/inane to work something like that out.  What the fuck am I talking about?

Rambling - jewellery for sheep.
Think about it.

"So this is a birding blog, ja?"
Ja, for sure.
"Well where have you been to lately then?" I hear you cry.
Well, I'll tell you, my little imaginary chums.

Last week, a Bonaparte's Gull AND a blinking Ring-Billed Gull were found over the bridge near Far Ings on the same night (hence I couldn't drive due to lager retention) along with a load of Med and Yellow Legged Gulls!  Jesus Holy Mary!  I turned up there the next morn to find the car park absolutely rammed with erm....no birders whatsoever!  I couldn't believe this.  Bony's and Ringer at the same site at the same time and nobody showed up.
I had a good go at the Gulls on Chowder Ness but only found 2 adult Meds amongst the common fodder.  Not good! 

I tried again....wait for it....two days later and guess what?  Well, I'm pretty sure that I had the Ringer off Far Ings from the brick hide looking over the Humber plus a near adult Caspian!  Get in.  But nothing worth mentioning back at Chowder Ness though (where the birds were originally found). I've found myself being drawn into "Gulling".  I still think they're hard though.  Am I alone in this?  I can't be.  Practice needed methinks.

On the 13th I headed up to Filey to have a look at the beautifully patterned* first year male King Eider.  It showed very nicely.  Very nicely indeed for a sea-duck.  They're pretty fucking** god*** damn rare here in Yorkshire, with a record from Flamborough last year and before that a bird way back in 1846 or summat.  This bird was actually seen passing Flamborough the week before and seemed pretty settled with the local Eider group.

So, who says that this isn't a birding blog.  There.  A post about birds just to keep you happy.


*     heavy sarcasm is used in this blog.
**   I nearly went 3 posts without swearing.  Nearly.
*** I didn't even put a capital letter on "god" which shows my general attitude towards deities - pure anarchy!

Sheep jewellery

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Hit parade

Fluff thought that he'd bring you his version of a hit parade, as is popular in other birding blogs.
Alright.  Greetings, pop pickers.  Nod Harf.

Don't blame me, I didn't cook it.  Alright.

1 And now to a pretty cool acoustic version of one of the Chili Peppers more famous songs.  Check out the crazy boiler suit antics of Big Tone Kiedis, alright: 

under the bridge

That was written way back in 1992.  Can you believe that?  18 years ago, man! 

2 I think this next track hit the charts around 94 and I should point out that I HATE anybody who calls their sound "American alternative rock" because that means, without contradiction, that they are utter shite.  Well, apart from this one little contradiction by Beck who is utter shite apart from this track, alright:

soy un perdedor

I can read many influences into that song, Stone Roses, Happy Mondays, George Harrison's wailing sitar-based wonderwall records recordings.......erm......and some more.  Nod 'Arf.


3 Straight in at number 3 this week is Bad Company with a song about a boy who is brought up by a pack of wolves!  Sounds like an unlikely subject for a soft rock composition to me, but here, have a look for yourselves:

Run with the Packi

Check out a young Tony Blackburn on bass at around 2:30.  The studio version of that track features a piano-led fade-out which Paul Rodgers touches on but doesn't continue in this footage which, in my opinion, is excellent. 

4 Well.  I'm not sure about white guys trying to rap like black guys but generally rubbish band Faith no More have a decent punt at it here:

Epic

Whilst you're on, click on the War Pigs cover that they did or alternatively find the proper War Pigs by Sabbath, it's much better.  Speaking of Sabbath....

5 Fuck Faith no More, here's Sabbath live in gay Paris in 1970.  Ozzy - a proper legend:

As the war machine keeps turning....

Everyone's heard of this famous yarn, but I'll tell you anyway.  Sharon was pissed off with Ozzy's partying and general rock 'n' roll lifestyle so she hid every item of his clothing and locked him in the house to keep him off the beer for a while.  Ozzy being Ozzy, put on one of her dresses, jumped out of the window and went on a three day bender!  True genius.

Jordan seems to regret having the tattoos.

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Alarming information

If you ever buy a house/car/hat without an alarm, simply don't worry!  What's the point in an alarm?  When does anybody (myself included) react to an alarm going off? Let's think about this:

If you hear an alarm going off at 12 noon you are meant to assume the following:

a)   If 'going off', this alarm is here to say that something is wrong....
b)   .....usually that something is being taken, and/or....
c)   ...that someone has broken in without permission.
d)   Alert the emergency services at once.

And do you?  Well?  No, didn't think so.  This is what you really think:

If indoors at home and hear the alarm you think:
"Bastard alarms.  I hope it gets turned off soon cos Loose Women's about to start".

If outdoors and hear the alarm you simply walk past it and think:
"Fuck me, that's loud".

Pointless!  Now visualise hearing an alarm at 12 midnight:

If indoors at home and hear the alarm you think:

"Bastard alarms. I hope it gets turned off soon cos Babestation's about to start".

If outdoors and hear the alarm you simply walk past it and think:
"Fuck me, that's loud.  This kebab's fucking nice, I'll go there again".

Pointless.

My car alarm started to wail for no apparent reason today, whilst in transit.  There was no way this thing was turning off.  I even drove to a remote part of town so that I could take the fuses out without waking the dead.  This didn't stop it.  I took it to a mate of mine and as we were working on it by the roadside which is the very same road that the runners in the Humber Bridge half marathon had just ran down so there were police everywhere.  Three cop cars and a copper on a bike all passed whilst we were there!
Again, this alarm is saying to passers-by (in particular police passers-by) that:

a)   There is something wrong
b)   This alarm is going off because someone has started the engine without the correct key/fob
c)   This alarm is going off because someone has opened the door locks without the correct key/fob
d)   It is possible that whoever has stolen this car will have taken it somewhere to be immobilised
e)   Contact emergency services at once.

The emergency services cruised by......4 fucking times!!!!  They didn't bat an eyelid.  From a police point-of-view they probably, and rightly thought "Oh, there's two blokes mending/disabling a car alarm that has gone off accidentally".
True.
So, again, what is the point in this alarm?

I suppose if it's YOUR vehicle, or YOUR car, or YOUR hat, i.e. YOUR alarm, then I suppose it is relevant, but only to you.  So why, if it is only the owner that needs to hear it, are they so loud??!! So a simple, quiet, discreet alarm is all that's required, perhaps the alarm sends a text to your phone?  This would even be better for catching any suspects instead of scaring them off.  I might market that idea.  Dragon's Den, here I come.  I'll take along my other idea at the same time.  It's a new kind of book where all the months of the year are laid out into 'dates'.  Under each 'date' you can write something to remind you of something that's happening on that 'date' or even something that happened on a previous 'date' just to record for posterity.  You will never miss a dentist appointment again.  The book shall cover one whole year, January to December.  I shall call it 'Reminder Book'.

1 Sparrowhawk.

An early prototype.

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As this is a Spurn blog, today I went to North Yorkshire

Wykeham Raptor Viewpoint.  I'd never been here before.  I'd thought I'd let you in on that. But it's good.  You should go. If you haven't already.  But if you have (been before) then forget about me telling you to go (there) because you've already been (there) and therefore know that it's good.  Or bad, depending on the day you had.  This has started really badly.

Let's liven things up by throwing TWO Honey Buzzards straight at you.  Pow!  Then let me enchant you further with tales of TWO Goshawks.  Thwack!  Now let your imagination run riot with TWO Turtle Doves and TWO Tree Pipits.  Sock!  There's something going on here.  Two of everything.  Oh, just one Hobby, that's alright then, there's nothing going on.  Or perhaps there is something going on but the Hobby just isn't in on it?  Shit!  Then only one singular Peregrine.  There's nothing going on after all, what a relief.

Onto Forge Valley for the usual fodder of Nuthatch and Marsh Tit.  And Chaffinch.

After that, I visited a place of magic, mystery, enchantment and cliffs.  Bempton RSPB where 3 or 4 Quail were calling.  Amazingly, one peered out from the barley!  Then another strutted into full view on the track!!  Then another walked upto me and walked over my trainers with contempt!!!
"What's up with him?" I thought.
Of course this is all a figment of my imagination, I didn't see one, you never do!  In fact, how the fuck do I know that it was actually Quails that were making this noise?  I've never seen one do it.  Has anybody ever seen a Quail before?  No.  Then how does anyone know what they sound like?  I'm simply going on what others have told me through the medium of the book.  Can I trust them?  Have 'they' ever seen a Quail making this noise?  How can I trust them, I've never even met Ian Shellguide before.  So, these 'Quail' certainly cannot go onto my birding mental year tick list as I cannot be sure who or what were making these noises.  And, whilst we're on the subject, when people talk of second world war heroes and say 'You'd be speaking German if it wasn't for those brave men'.  How do they know that?  I mean, the Germans don't speak English do they?  No.  It seems that the winners of any world war competition do not get to impose their mother tongue on the losers.  So stop telling me they do.

Where the fuck did that come from?
Hark, the Herald Angel sing.
I haven't mentioned football once.
Rabbits live in hutches not warrens.
Two footballers called Warren.
Warren Barton and Peter Beardsley.
You're bored aren't you?
Yes, I am.

The new Abu Hamza Key Holder

Only £12.99 from most good household goods stores

Out Now!!!

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Goldcrests = tiny bald baby mites

Goldcrests!  Local Goldcrests.  And a family party of local Goldcrests too.  Evidence of localised breeding.  That's good.  I haven't seen many this year, local or otherwise.  Throughout this year at Spurn, Firecrest records have outnumbered Goldcrest records, which is a bit mad to say the least.

I've just found out that the Duffbirder has added a link to me (this?).  I really should return the compliment.  Has anyone else added this (me?) to their website and I've not linked them? 
Please e-mail me at quigs22@hotmail.co.uk if you have or you want me to link your site on here.
"Who in their right mind would?" I hear you cry.
I was just wondering if I'd been ignorant to the fact that someone has linked me and I've not linked them that's all.  I presume it's internet etiquette?
"It is I suppose" said, erm, you.
Cheers.

This is a new book I've bought.

It's her follow-up to the hugely successful

"Hide and Seek World Champion Found Dead in a Wardrobe"

The old ones are the best.

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