Saturday, 28 December 2013

cote d'ivoire

Pissing Hell, where do I start?
I'll tell you where I start and that's by wishing all of my two readers a Merry Christmas!  How's that for merriment?

Two weeks ago I was unloading the van, first morning of a job, when I needed to ring a supplier to see if a drop was happening.  As this phone call progressed I heard a Ring Necked Parakeet calling behind me!  Shit le bed, Joe le taxi etc.  I turned on a sixpence and saw the plastic yorkshire tick join some more plastic yorkshire ticks in the form of 20 feral Pigeons.  It flew 'round with them for 10 seconds before deciding they were too plastic and too dross to congregate with.  It then flew off east calling.  Get in!  Yorkshire tick no less!  399 now.  One to go...... maybe a Gyr or an Ivory Gull might drop in......?

Hell's teeth!  A fucking Ivory Gull at Patrington!  Haven!  Found!  By!  Geoff!  Dobbs!  Exclamation! But!  It's!  Nearly!  Three!  Fifteen!  Can!  I!  make!  it?  Go on, can I?  It's theoretically 35 minutes from my house.....the light goes in 20......nah, i can't make it......

The next day I set off for a bit of work without optics in tow.  Poor memory antics.  At 1p.m. I was done and made a mad dash home to grab optics.  The twat missus had left the key in the french doors enabling it impossible for me to enter, I had no front door keys on me.  She is a basic bastard.   I went to Pat Haven with no optical aids.  I am shit.  Fats is shit more to the point.  Another patio on the way.....

Arriving at Pat Hav, as the cool kids know it, I was immediately offered scope views by Mr Gary Dayes which is the second time this year I've had my first views of a LIFER through his scope, after the Rock Thrush at Spurn!  What a nice guy.  Thanks Gary.

I have lots to say.  Lots.  Mainly about lucky petulant Mancs primadonnas, a 6-0 scoreline, and an amazing run of fortune when I was taking Auntie Pauline to facking Anglesey involving BB Pip and Upupa Epops antics!  But I'll tell you next time.

And what the fuck was the last post all about?  What was the skeleton all about?  Ha ha ha ha.  I was going to delete it but thought better of it as it is living proof just what happens to my mind if I ever decide to chuck the beer in the future.  It will surely spur me on if I go teetotal.

"Look what happens when you drink" my shrink will say and point to the previous post.
"Oh yeah" I will say.

I begged my doctor for one more line, he said "son, words fail me....."


Friday, 6 December 2013

Controversial Views?

Freeeeeeeee Nelson Mandela.....they sang back in '94 or whenever.  Well, he's free now and the world is better off without him.  There, I said it.  The cause for which he fought is undoubtedly much, much better off for his help and presence, but, dare I say, that issue and fight against apartheid would've been sorted at some point without him.  No doubt.  Modern world would not accept it.  It didn't accept it and it had it changed.  Mandela went about the cause completely the wrong way and shouldn't be put on the pedestal he is on.  Now don't get me wrong here, the cause he was fighting was of course unjust.  Perhaps on a similar level to how Sinn Fein saw/see their fight.

They thought they could do anything as their goal was so justified.

Some of you will already know that Mandela led the "MK", basically the terrorist faction of the ANC.  Mandela was personally responsible for signing off numerous killings, bombings (inluding the infamous church street bomb) and...erm....more killings of innocent women and children.  And gays.  I made that bit up.  My mind says that these attacks were aimed at white people.  This is just a guess, I have no facts and have not resourced this, I could easily but I'm voicing my uninformed mind on this.  It's a gut feeling as I write.  Why?  Because EXTREMISTS target the opposition!  Race doesn't come into it bizarrely!  In this case it does but that's not the point.  It's certainly not my point.  He was extremist albeit to a cause that the 'normal' person would support.  Hard to evaluate.

Mandela's fight was a very, very valid one, but the world has condoned his terrorist actions because "the cause was worth it".  Fact.  Well, I'll tell you something about every struggle in the world, say the muslim fight against the western infidels; believe me, the extremists really REALLY believe that their struggle is 'worth the cause'.  Others do not and take a harsh view on such terrorist actions.

As for Winnie Mandela's football team they were right fucking head-the-balls not that I've ever heard of them.  Honest....

As for Mandela giving South Africa's highest honour to Colonel Gaddafi (no less) and that crazy bastard from Indonesia for their support of the ANC to the tune of $60m or something, again, is beyond me.

I think "the world" has decided that his rights outdo his wrongs and are willing to forget them.  As for me I can't condone his actions.  Freeeeeeeee Nelson Mandela?  Fuuuuuuuuuck Nelson Mandela more like.  No, that's way to harsh.  I just cannot condone it and nor would the modern world.
They certainly wouldn't sing for his release.

I'm as controversial as FUCK me!

Coming next week, a light hearted view on Mugabe's hand picked sex slaves, a controversial review of Mark Spitz: Tom Daley Swallows, and a Yorkshire tick over Hessle!!!!  Fucking hell's teeth!

Is Ring necked Parakeet a description species for Yorkshire?  I fucking hope not cos the last description I submitted sounded like either a juv Grey Heron or a Rufous Tailed Bushchat!  Mind you, I was proper pissed when I wrote it.  Fuckj knows if is "in circulation" or it's just been chucked out within 13 seconds of reading the report.


I like random photos.
Now here's me dressed as a skeleton at a Hallowe'en party:

Shut it bitch.