Saturday, 8 December 2012

I should stop blogging. I'm not even sure I should publish this. But hey.

Oh lordy.  You know during Waxwing invasions when you're driving along and see a few Starlings wheeling around and you "check" that they're not Waxwings?  You watch them for a bit and decide they are just Starlings whilst careering off the road and breaking the leg of an elderly couple (just one leg of the couple, i.e. 1 in 4, sorry about that Enid).   Anyway, when you finally connect with some Waxwings you know straight away that they're NOT Starlings,  Sort of bigger, sort of longer-winged sort of, they're similar but jizz rules doesn't it?  And for all homosexual readers who simply LOVED that last sentence: 

Erm.....I didn't mean that sort.... big poofs!


I had 15 (Homosexuals, not Waxwings) over a building site down near Watford.  They flew over, calling, and continued SW and landed in a bush laden with berries.  Piles must be a problem amongst homosexuals. 
The first thing I heard when I parked the van up on the cockerney site was this:
"Don't take the lorry darn there, you won't geddit darn the mugga"

The mugga?  All day I thought of the convoluted way that the cockerneys had derived "mugga" to mean "road".  I was at a loss.  I still am, and I've even yahoo'ed it (fuck you and your taxes Google).  It's dialect-based terms like this that confuse the masses and exactly why every Chinese person who has ever got into a taxi has always ended up in Harrow. 

But anyway, have a look at this amazing graphical summing up of years of research about the evolution of all genus in the bird world.  Jimmy the Jew, a gangster I know, used to train and research at Sheffield Uni and Sheffield Uni is where this research has been done it at Sheffield Uni and they've done it and sorted.  The previous was my greatest EVER sentence.

Anyway, have a look:

CLICK here you maggot farmers 

Hey, that's my fuckin Grifter you fuckin fuck,
I'm Jimmy the fukin Jew