Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Local Megas - Edited from yesterday.

A few avian highlights locally, with 3 Lapwing over the house whacking themselves directly onto the house list. Next came a vis mig corvid extravaganza with 3 Jackdaw, and 8 Carrion Crow all separate or in twos all West from the house. Next up a Chiffchaff singing on territory on Costello on 20th March which is my earliest ever in Hessle, well actually, Costello is within the Hull limits on Boothferry estate, home of course to the notorious No Neck Ted off Benedict, but it's still pretty fucking close to Hessle, even if they do only eat tinned Corned Beef it's not their fault.

So what can top THAT LOT? I'll TELL you. TWO more Jackdaws and ANOTHER fucking Lapwing that's WHAT! Well I SUPPOSE they don't REALLY top it THEY just add TO the LIST.

This is where I've missed the whole point of this post. True, Jackdaws are mega but I forgot to tell you about the really really mega mega. Yep, 32 Whooper Swan (s?) went very low North over Ruby's primary school. Well that's my excuse for being outside a primary school. With binoculars.
In a rainmack.

On prod.

So, 32 Whoopers over Hessle, the same group was seen high over Bubwith a little later that day. Hessle tick! I'd presume by their altitude that alighted fairly close by, perhaps from north Lincolnshire? Who knows.
End of edit.

As you all know The Professionals is the best programme ever made and Doyle's Capri is the greatest car in the world ever ever. Avid fans of the Professionals will know that Bodie's call sign number is 3-7. Now 3-7, where have I seen that before? Can't think.


Monday, 12 March 2012

Man U rant

All you Mancs bastards will be excited about Sky's proposed new channel. It's a general sports channel but will make references to Manchester United as much as possible, even when the story is not really related. Plus, in their live football coverage, Gary Neville (son of Neville Neville) will now be a pundit AND commentator on EVERY game just so they can ask him for a Man U anecdote and talk a bit more about Man U even during Norwich vs Wigan. This new channel is to be called Sky Sports News and will be broadcast on channel 405...oh...hang on...

I've got man flu. Man flu is a term invented by women because they think that men can't handle illness and always exaggerate just how bad it is. Well, both girls had a bug this week which they shook off quite well but then I started with similar symptoms, aching legs, sickness, man flu, and really aching fucking legs. This only meant one thing. Polio. Had to be. Just had to be. Therefore the above Man U rant can be excused as I have polio and, ergo, I'm not happy.

Back to Man U. The media big them up big time. It's their personal propaganda machine. They really do bring Man U into any story they can. Cunts. Man U are bigger cunts. Yesterday across the bottom of the screen came "Athletico Bilbao lose 2-1 ahead of their game with Man U". Big news! But at least a chance to bring Man U into it.
Let's look in the paper, I'll find something... I will....

...right, found one. It's easy. Swansea 1 Man City 0 write up in the Sun. What's the headline? Surely something about a great win for Swansea? Or the really very good football they've played since they've come up? What about the way they still try to play football even against the big sides? Or the excellent job that Rodgers is doing there? No. None of that. It reads:

"Luke who's a hero for United"

with reference to Luke Moore who scored the winner.

To illustrate Man U propaganda I give you this. Beckham was voted runner up in the World Player of the Year in 99. All the Mancs sucked each other off and shouted about King Becks being the second best player on the planet. I asked a few of them, "so who's the best player at Man U?"
"Erm...probably Giggs....or Scholes".
"Who after that?"
"Schmeichel. Then Stam then probably Beckham".

So Beckham is around the fifth or sixth best at Man U but he's the second best in the world?

Upside down Ollie is laughing right now cos he knows what I'm like with Man U. I think I can rest my case.

Rant over. Back to being poorly.

"But have you anything to tell us about birds or birding? Anything at all" shouts the frustrated audience reading a supposed birding blog.

No. Not a thing.


Thursday, 1 March 2012

Darkies. There I said it.

I talk a lot of predictive text on here but today threw up a strange one. I was texting Nicola something and used the word 'earlier'. So I spelt 'earlier' and it was going well until the last letter and it gave the word 'darkies' as the first option! Now picture Kyle's mom off South Park saying 'What what WHAT?'. So really, how in god's name has the word darkies darkened the halls of Nokia HQ? It's a strange thought but when Ian Nokia was designing the new smart Nokia N8 (I'm flash as fuck, me) and thinking of functions and that, when he got to the predictive text section he must've asked himself 'Now what words should we put in, we can't put them all in?' and he's added darkies and earliest. Darkies? What the fuck is he doing putting darkies in? Ha ha ha ha is he one of those racialists? You see, he didn't even add the word 'racialist' mainly due to the fact that it's not a real word (I'm posting from my phone again which is why you've not had any childish pictures at the end of every post just lately). So, darkies! I couldn't quite believe it. Darkies! Darkies? I'm gratuitously writing the word darkies just because it's the first time I've ever been allowed to use the word darkies without fear of being labelled a racialist.
Anyway, it amused my tiny mind for most of the day.

I've just watched a cat 'stuck' up a tree. It was quite high and was clearly looking for a way down. There was no way down. I envisaged a short trip to the van, which is parked outside a corner shop owned by those earlier people, to get my ladders to rescue said cat. Cats get stuck up trees right? The fire brigade rescue them right? So how come this one just shimmied down the trunk using it' Easy. It just got down. It moved a bit like Catwoman and what would you do to her eh? Fuck me. There's a cheap pussy joke in there somewhere but I'm not going there.

Catwoman, fit as she is, is not the fittest fictional character/super hero out there. No way man. What about Wonder Woman? Now you're fucking talking. And what about Jessica Rabbit off Who Framed Roger Rabbit? What would what you do with her/it?

You fucking know you would you sick cunts.