Wednesday, 25 November 2009


Well I never.  Black-bellied Storm Petrel in the Severn estuary!  Fucking hell!!
The last few days have seen crazy bastard south-westerlies pounding our coastline and some big mega claims of big mega seabirds have been made, with this Black Bellied Stormy, a Masked Booby off Cornwall, and a Frigatebird sp. over Huddersfield!  Huddersfield?
Fucking Huddersfield?
I reckon it was a teenage girl's black straggly top from Dorothy Perkins with a white motif on the front that'd blown off the washing line in the gales!

25th November, Huddersfield, wind - SW Force 7, observations from 0915 - 1310.

3 Black headed Gulls
1 Girl's Fashion Top, south.

Now there's a possible Swinhoe's Petrel in Cornwall too!  Fuck me!  This is crazy stuff!
The Black-Bellied Stormy was seen initially by 5 birders who had good enough views.  I read on a site that at least one of these guys was "white-hot".  What a record.
They were joined by some more birders, 3 of whom are rumoured to be cross-dressers and today were all wearing striking little black numbers, one of which was a saucy off-the-shoulder cut.  At this point I must say that the choice of footwear was inappropriate (heels on Severn beach?) although they argued that would take style over function any day.  The marvellous large-brimmed hat that Roger was wearing didn't last long in the gales and was last seen off Pendeen in Cornwall going west and reported as a 'possible Swinhoe's Petrel'. 
Hey!  That explains these crazy sightings then! 
Let's look at the facts.  These mega seabird claims have only been made in the gales, yes?  What happens in gales?  Correct, fashion items of cross-dressing birders get blown away either from washing lines or, in Rogers case, out in the field!  So that's the Swinhoe's and the Frigatebird solved.
Sorted.  But from now on I think the likes of Roger should adhere to a more sensible style of birding/transvestite wear, because if hats, scarves and boob tubes keep flying about past headlands around the country, god knows what further claims are going to be made!

The Black-Billed Stormy Fregata was last seen surrounded by large gulls so presumably ended up it's epic journey from southern hemisphere oceana in the mouth of the Severn in the mouth of a Herring Gull.
A first for Britain, but a tasty snack for a Larid.

Black-Bellied Storm Petrel.
A new addition to the British List, if accepted, which it should
be because the finders are meant to be proper top birders.


Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Trailer trashed

Went to help my brother move a broken trailer onto a wagon.  The trailer was broken when some thieves stole it, broke it stealing it, so left it cos they'd broken it.  What bastards!

So, on Beverley Westwood loading said trailer onto said wagon when a Crossbill flew over.  Erm, west. Or is it south?  No, no, west it is, I've worked it out.  It was flying.  Just flying without a care in the world, flying off somewhere, fly, fly away tiny Crossbill, fly, little bird, fly.

Which could've read:

Beverley Westwood, 1 crossbill, west.

Or it could've read:

Piss off and die bastard Crossbills.  Don't come here and try and nick trailers that don't belong to you you fucking thieving bastards. No fucking wonder you're flying off west, come back here and face the music you twat.  Come on then, Crossbill bastard, come on, get outside then.  Let's fucking 'ave it, come on.

Not really sure which is the best.

I'm bored.  Can you tell?

So here is a drawing that I've pretended I've drawn of
a Crossbill but really I've just fucked about with
a photo that I've ripped off the net and monstered in Photoshop.
It's true, I really am that bored.