Sunday, 24 November 2013

Two things amused me this morning. Here they are.

I was amused twice this morn.  TWICE I tells ye!

Sunday morning and the girls are on a sleep over at Grandma's.  Peace.  Whilst I was attempting to get Tubs to give us a blozzer I had the television on in the boudoir.  I first watched Match of the Day which was no recompense for actually attending the city game in which we lost 0-1.  Awful game.  The worst I've seen us in a few years.

After MotD what's his name came on.  Andrew summat.  Marr?  Perhaps that's it.  They were discussing the head of the co-op bank and Methodist reverend Paul Flowers, whom has just been outed for disgusting gross indecency: being the head of a disgusting bank.  AND for having drug fuelled gay sex bum hole cottaging felching fudge packing dinner mashing rusty sheriff's badge dirty tea towel holder chocolate speedway action with rent boys.  Now the first amusement.  One tabloid has labelled this homosapien "The Crystal Methodist".  Get it?  Not bad.  I was still drunk at this point may I add.  In hindsight It's not THAT good but hey!

No blozzer on the agenda as of yet.

I changed the facking channel.  Absolute Radio, channel 700 and summat.  Do you know what they were having "a discussion" about?  You'll never guess.  Even if you like Simple Minds.  Even if you're No neck Ted.  Even if you know that L***s are shit.  Even if you're off Benedict.....

....the discussion was:

Has Jim Kerr, lead singer of Simple Minds, got strange ears?

Fucking what?

What kind of radio discussion is that?  Erm....what am I listening to?
"Fats, it's not gonna suck itself and have you ever noticed Jim Kerr's fucking ears?" I said to my dearest yet empty mouthed Nicole.
People were actually ringing in and texting in their opinions!  Honest.  What in the name of Hell's Teeth is that all about question mark.  One man said "I've noticed that Jim Kerr's ears are a bit odd too, they're sort of, well, a bit odd".  He was in agreement that, in fact, Jim Kerr's ears were, in fact, odd.  In their opinion.  But a lot of people weren't!  Another man, obviously a pro-Jim-Kerr's-ears-are-normal supporter text in "Jim Kerr has done a lot of good music, I like Simple Minds and your persecution of his ears does not reflect that"!  Ha ha ha ha ha ha what the fucking fuck am I listening to?  The presenter retorted, "I'm not saying that he hasn't done lots of good music or that he isn't a great talent, I'm just discussing that his ears are a bit odd compared to normal ears".

My full brain exploded at this point.

Not my bollocks may I add.