Twenty fucking sixth of fucking October you fucking bastards.
"Why are you so angry Mr Quigley?"
"No come on, don't be like that"
"Fuck off and leave me alone Twat"
"Listen, there no need to be offensive Mr Quigley, just tell me what's wrong and maybe I can help you".
""I went to Spurn, alright?".
"And Mr Quigley was it bad?"
"I had a Robin-shaped bastard with a blue tail in flight at the top end of the canal"
"That's great, you've always wanted to find a Red-Flanked Bluetail at Spurn, Mr Quigley"
"I fucking know. I stood there then thrashed the bushes, then stood there some more"
"Did you see it again, Mr Quigley, thus confirming Spurn's fourth record of this eastern gem?"
"What the fuck do you think fucknuts? I STOOD THERE FOR FUCKING 3 HOURS AND EVEN SHOUTED ANDY THAT I'D GOT A POSSIBLE THEN IT WENT OVER THE RADIO THEN A FEW PEOPLE CAME TO FUCKING HELP AND FUCKING FUCK ALL CAME OUT OF THE BUSHES THEN EVERYONE DRIFTED OFF LEAVING ME TO IT, NO DOUBT THINKING THAT THERE WAS NO BLUETAIL!!"
"On reflection I think it looked very good for one, my description would be as follows: Robin sized bird, similar build, only seen once in flight, seen only with the naked eye..."
"....from around 15 yards...."
Generally brown in plumage apart from a dullish blue tail, definitely not as bright as the previous week's bird but this may have been down to poor light....."
"Poor light Mr Quigley?"
"Yes, poor fucking light..."
"I never got anymore on the plumage or underparts......"
"Will you stop fucking interrupting me. For fuck's sake, I'm pissed off enough that it never showed again never mind you fucking interrupting me when I'm trying to talk about it. Take THAT! And THAT you bastard". (picture me hitting you with a big stick in your minds).
3 hours ago