Saturday, 28 December 2013

cote d'ivoire

Pissing Hell, where do I start?
I'll tell you where I start and that's by wishing all of my two readers a Merry Christmas!  How's that for merriment?

Two weeks ago I was unloading the van, first morning of a job, when I needed to ring a supplier to see if a drop was happening.  As this phone call progressed I heard a Ring Necked Parakeet calling behind me!  Shit le bed, Joe le taxi etc.  I turned on a sixpence and saw the plastic yorkshire tick join some more plastic yorkshire ticks in the form of 20 feral Pigeons.  It flew 'round with them for 10 seconds before deciding they were too plastic and too dross to congregate with.  It then flew off east calling.  Get in!  Yorkshire tick no less!  399 now.  One to go...... maybe a Gyr or an Ivory Gull might drop in......?

Hell's teeth!  A fucking Ivory Gull at Patrington!  Haven!  Found!  By!  Geoff!  Dobbs!  Exclamation! But!  It's!  Nearly!  Three!  Fifteen!  Can!  I!  make!  it?  Go on, can I?  It's theoretically 35 minutes from my house.....the light goes in 20......nah, i can't make it......

The next day I set off for a bit of work without optics in tow.  Poor memory antics.  At 1p.m. I was done and made a mad dash home to grab optics.  The twat missus had left the key in the french doors enabling it impossible for me to enter, I had no front door keys on me.  She is a basic bastard.   I went to Pat Haven with no optical aids.  I am shit.  Fats is shit more to the point.  Another patio on the way.....

Arriving at Pat Hav, as the cool kids know it, I was immediately offered scope views by Mr Gary Dayes which is the second time this year I've had my first views of a LIFER through his scope, after the Rock Thrush at Spurn!  What a nice guy.  Thanks Gary.

I have lots to say.  Lots.  Mainly about lucky petulant Mancs primadonnas, a 6-0 scoreline, and an amazing run of fortune when I was taking Auntie Pauline to facking Anglesey involving BB Pip and Upupa Epops antics!  But I'll tell you next time.

And what the fuck was the last post all about?  What was the skeleton all about?  Ha ha ha ha.  I was going to delete it but thought better of it as it is living proof just what happens to my mind if I ever decide to chuck the beer in the future.  It will surely spur me on if I go teetotal.

"Look what happens when you drink" my shrink will say and point to the previous post.
"Oh yeah" I will say.

I begged my doctor for one more line, he said "son, words fail me....."


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