Let's liven things up by throwing TWO Honey Buzzards straight at you. Pow! Then let me enchant you further with tales of TWO Goshawks. Thwack! Now let your imagination run riot with TWO Turtle Doves and TWO Tree Pipits. Sock! There's something going on here. Two of everything. Oh, just one Hobby, that's alright then, there's nothing going on. Or perhaps there is something going on but the Hobby just isn't in on it? Shit! Then only one singular Peregrine. There's nothing going on after all, what a relief.
Onto Forge Valley for the usual fodder of Nuthatch and Marsh Tit. And Chaffinch.
After that, I visited a place of magic, mystery, enchantment and cliffs. Bempton RSPB where 3 or 4 Quail were calling. Amazingly, one peered out from the barley! Then another strutted into full view on the track!! Then another walked upto me and walked over my trainers with contempt!!!
"What's up with him?" I thought.
Of course this is all a figment of my imagination, I didn't see one, you never do! In fact, how the fuck do I know that it was actually Quails that were making this noise? I've never seen one do it. Has anybody ever seen a Quail before? No. Then how does anyone know what they sound like? I'm simply going on what others have told me through the medium of the book. Can I trust them? Have 'they' ever seen a Quail making this noise? How can I trust them, I've never even met Ian Shellguide before. So, these 'Quail' certainly cannot go onto my birding mental year tick list as I cannot be sure who or what were making these noises. And, whilst we're on the subject, when people talk of second world war heroes and say 'You'd be speaking German if it wasn't for those brave men'. How do they know that? I mean, the Germans don't speak English do they? No. It seems that the winners of any world war competition do not get to impose their mother tongue on the losers. So stop telling me they do.
Where the fuck did that come from?
Hark, the Herald Angel sing.
I haven't mentioned football once.
Rabbits live in hutches not warrens.
Two footballers called Warren.
Warren Barton and Peter Beardsley.
You're bored aren't you?
Yes, I am.
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