Sunday, 6 October 2013

Man U / Great Snipe

Fucking Mancs.
Manc jokes:

After 11 years of trying, David Moyes has finally got Everton above Man U.

With Liverpool fans naming Suarez And Sturridge "SAS" Man U fans have come up with their own catchy acronym: Welbeck Anderson Nani Kagawa.

Or my cockerney take on it: Ferdinand Anderson Cleverly Kagawa Ince Nani Carrick Anderson Nani Tevez Smalling.

That was a good joke.

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man U fan?
You'd see skid marks in front of the dog.

That was a good joke.

What's the difference between a Man U fan and a vibrator?
The Man U fan is a proper cock.

That was a good joke.

Erm.....How many Man U fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
1,550,001.  1 to change the bulb, 50, 000 to say they've been changing it for years, 500,000 to jump on the lightbulb bandwagon and 1,000,000 to buy the replica shirt.

As a few of you know, Hull City are now to be known as Hull Tiger-feet or summat.  "That's neat" I hear you cry?  Well, some of the fans are against this, as am I, and they've put together a sort of protest against said matters.  Yesterday, before our "thrilling" 0-0 drubbing of Villa, they were handing out leaflets drumming up support for said protest.  Here is an account of one of our fans handing leaflets out:

On getting a leaflet  this bloke says "Nah mate I'm not bovvered, anyway we don't want AFC we are not a AMATEUR football club! Cos that's what AFC stands for"
When his mate corrects him "that's not it it's Association football club" and he is getting laughed at he then adds "Anyway I'm Man U so I don't give a fuck about the name".
Good job he wasn't near me.

If I were ANYWHERE near this "person" I promise you I would've dotted him on the spot.
Dotted the twat.
It's just so wrong on so many levels, although not surprising.
I shall say no more on the matter except that if you know a Man U fan, simply disown him, delete his number from your phone, ignore him in pub and make sure everyone else ignores him, and even....EVEN....dare I say it.....delete him as a friend on Facebook!!!!!!  Jesus, No!!!!!!!

Spurn.  The Great Snipe was so called as it was, indeed, "Great".  It showed great, it was a great bird, in great surroundings and it was great right until the point it was partially eaten by Tiddles.  There's a moral tale here and I was going to go deep into it until I realised I'd just go right around the houses to come up with the fact that no one or thing did anything wrong.  Shall I expand?  Okay then.

I'll keep it in summary.
  • In hindsight (a wonderful thing) maybe the birding authorities should have moved the bird to somewhere more suitable.
  • They did this with a Bluetail that was underweight so it could feed up.
  • They DIDN'T do this with another Bluetail found the same day that weighed even less than the first!
  • Why?  Because it was already in an ideal area for not being disturbed (i.e. Point Dunes) I'm not sure "i.e." should be in parentheses?  Surely bad grammar?  Anyway, this shows an understanding of a bird's welfare including whether it is in a natural environment, and a healthy state, and whether it's in a natural state.
  • The Great Snipe was feeding very well.
  • It was in a natural state albeit in a strange (to us) environment.
  • It looked and seemed healthy apart from the strange location choice.
  • Why interfere with nature, David Attenburgh, lions hunting, interfering, Jimmy Savile, interfering, let nature take it's course, etc...
  • But cats aren't native.
  • Neither are lots of things but human nature has chosen to domesticate cats.
  • Just like cows.
  • But you wouldn't morally blame a farmer if a cow had trampled the Snipe would you?
  • A lot of vagrant birds are genetically fucked up.
  • Reverse passage migration.
  • What influences these mites to go the wrong way?
  • Rare pied variant form of Varied Thrush, Baillon's Crake in a kid's park, frigatebird on a boating lake in Scunthorpe, Pacific Diver in a puddle....Great Snipe running over a bloke's foot.....
  • Indeed this Snipe may not have even seen a human being before.  Certainly not the ugly, motley crew that stood before it on that day.
  • So, we could deduce that the Snipe believed it had migrated (it had, although a bit....erm....wrongly)
  • We could also deduce that the Snipe thought that this actually WAS it's wintering grounds, it'd never been there before!  How would it know?!
  • With me so far?
  • The bird was a bit fucked up.
  • A cat got it due to it's strange tendency to habit a garden.
  • Cat eats Snipe's head.
  • Natural selection at work.
  • A genetically fucked up Great Snipe's genes should not be passed onto future generations......
  • .....hence, natural selction.
  • So the decision (if there even was one) not to move this bird was morally sound. 
  • There.
  • Next.
 Bullet point points.
Coming next week, OBP shenanigans.
Well hi there.

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