Friday, 13 September 2013


Sometimes I wonder about things.  Like why I titled the last post "Purple Bell Ends"?  I wonder what I was thinking.  Drinking heavily before/during the composition of a post is vital, I find, to not having a clue actually what you've published to the whole world until you log on sometime the following day.

A while ago I told you all about Nicola brushing her teeth with hair removal cream and me finding it fucking hilarious having great sympathy.  It reminded me of the Veet hair removal cream reviews on Amazon which went viral, which included the excellent review "Do NOT put on knob and bollocks - Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks". 
It is good.
Hang on, I'll find you a link, that's how nice I am...........


...... Veet Reviews.......


Some other interesting reviews came to my attention the other week.  A bloke my brother knows is an alcoholic which is fine.  His family have always had money, proper money, and to try and help him, and give him something to focus on, they gave him a guest house to run in the pleasant and affluent town of Beverley, some 10 miles from me, Minster Garth, a lovely Tudor building near the minster.  Maybe knowing him makes it a bit funnier but I thought I'd share the Trip Advisor reviews with you.  There's a lot of boring reviews to trawl through but you come across the odd gem like:

When i arrived the owner was standing in the main sitting room shouting
obscenities at anyone who passed the window...

....having banged on our door 9.30 in the morning to insist we come
down to breakfast and we politely explained we were heading
into town instead, we were told to ‘f*** off and not come back’...
....As he continued to scream at the elder man, telling him to "
Be an F#$%#ing Man" simply for wearing sneakers he left
out the front, ran into traffic, smashed his glass on
 the sidewalk and proceeded to chase cows.

Just read page 4 and 5 of the reviews.  Brillog.

Link:   Loono.

Jesus fucking Christ.  I've got PGA Golf's shot tracker on on another tab and Hunter Mahan (whom I've backed) has just triple bogeyed.  A bogey is the most gutting feeling in the world ever but a TRIPLE bastard?  Fuck you all.  And fuck Hunter Mahan. 

Oh and Facebook users, that blurred bit that's just off the edge of your screen is called "real life"......



  1. I run a blog for Smestow Valley LNR. I have started a nature network to protect our patches and coordinate wildlife surveys. Please could you e-mail me at and I shall send you more information. Thank you. Regards, Chris Millward.

  2. What in fucking gods name are you talking about you spastic? Spastic?