Friday, 18 June 2010


For the life of me, I don't know why the fuck it's big news on this side of the pond, but local loono, Robert Lee Gardner who "just killed a bunch of people and stuff" got absolutely shot dead today by firing squad over there in Utah state county.  He was on death row for 25 head-doing years. He actually got to choose the method of his death. What a proper mental decision to have to make.  I think I'd have said "Ooh.....I'll go for.....erm.....yeah, old age for me, thanks". 
So he asked for the firing squad which are now illegal, but at the time he was sentenced it was still law so he had the right to choose it.  I think I'd have asked for Emile Heskey to be doing the shooting though.

I saw a bloody Spoonbill today.  Imagine that, a Spoonbill.  It was just stood there with it's bill tucked into it's body.  It seemed to be asleep here at Blacktoft Sands.  Some time later it lifted it's bone idle head from it's slumber to reveal a bill that was indeed shaped just like a spoon!  It's a good job they're called Spoonbill and not something else like "Hammerbill" or maybe "Hatbill" because those names just wouldn't suit a bird with that shaped bill.

The journey to Blacktoft was amusing/stupid and/or frustrating, depending on which angle you're viewing from.
"Pay your surgeon very well to break the spell of aging,
sicker than the rest, there is no test,
but this is what you're craving...
A first born unicorn...
Hard core soft porn...
Dream of Californication, dream of FUCKING BASTARD, I've missed the fucking turn off, fuck off" I sang/shouted, funnily enough just as I careered past the turn off from the M62 to Blacktoft.  Spun it around at the next junction (about 400 miles at least).
Red Hot Chili Peppers had long since gone from the radiogram and had now been replaced by Queen's seminal, subliminal, beautifully written and subtle classic "Fat-Bottomed Girls".

".......Heap big woman you done made a big man of me!

Now get this!.....

AAAAAAH, (I know),you gonna take me home tonight (please)
AAAAAAH, down beside that red firelight
AAAAAAH, you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
OOOOOOOOOH yeah FUCKING ARSETITS!  FOR FUCK'S SAKE I'VE DONE IT AGAIN COMING BACK THE OTHER WAY!!!!!" I harmoniously sang beautifully as I whizzed past the junction yet again. Over the Ouse bridge, spun 'round and went back back over the Ouse bridge.  Four times I went over that bastard bridge today.

Two (of five in total) Spotted Redshanks were feeding close to the hide in full summer dress. Now I know Spot Shanks are common (ish) but these were quite possibly the best birds I'd seen this year.  I mean that.  They were in proper mint plumage, legs still jet black, showing really well, until I had a very loud random outburst about 'my needs throughout the night' and flushed everything to the other side of the scrape. 

A Ruff, a Common Sand, a Snipe, 30 Blackwits, some Bearded Reedlings, and a cheeky little Stoat than ran across the path before my very eyes made the preposterous journey all worthwhile.  Perhaps. 

My first ever attempt at phone-digi-binning.
This is a Whitethroat, although you can't see it.

This is my second attempt.
Getting better.
This is a Goldfinch.

My third attempt came out quite well, I thought.
This is a Spotted Redshank.


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