Today I went to North Cave Wetlands and Spurn Bird Observatory, so today's title is not misleading at all. NCW is one of those places where you have to be placed in a hide to view the area. Turret Hide gives an almost 360 degree view of the area so it was from here that I chose to look for the Caspian Gull that had been frequenting the reserve. I picked up a suspect immediately. The bloke on my right had tattoos so I thought he had to be an alright bloke. Tatts equals decent bloke. How wrong I was. He was a right CUNT. That's right, I used the word CUNT. I asked this CUNT if he was looking for the Caspian and if so I've got a probable here if you'd like to take a look? He CHUNTERED 'it was here this morning' so I helpfully followed it up with offering to put him on the bird. Do you know what the CHUNTERING CUNT said? I'll tell you, nothing! He said fuck all and glared at me for quite a few seconds. Proper glared at me. You can't help some people. Anyway, the Caspian looked like one to me, but I'm a bit rubbish, apart from the bill which looked slightly too bulky and a little hooked. But like I say, I'm a bit rubbish.
I'll tell you about Spurn tomorrow cos I'm reading the spanking new edition of the 2010 report which you all should buy you bastards.
Do you think I'm abusive to you, my sad and lonely readers? I mean, I just called you bastards! Perhaps I shouldn't call you bastards from now on.
I'll try to stop.