Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Year-Tick Work Action-Packed Post

Word up home boys.  I've been installing some cabins onto a building site down in Sarf Landan where they are about to flatten a load of high rise flats.  I managed to year tick Ring Necked Parakeet - loads of them.  The site gaffer commented "fackin vermin they are" as he was a cockerney chap, to which I launched in to explain that while they clearly aren't a native British bird, they have a self sustaining population and before I blurted out the phrase "Category C" I managed to realise that I was stood before several broad hairy stinking builders.  In rigger boots.  On a butch building site.
Talking about non-native bird species and knowing such dross as they are established enough to be recognised as a bonafide British bird (almost) albeit in Category C is probably a no-no......

"....fucking vermin...." muttered I.  "Anyone see that program about lorries the other night?" I said, changing the subject as real men always talk about things like lorries.  I know one bloke whose first (and last) day on a building site surrounded by sweaty horrible bastard hairy butch men in rigger boots consisted of him opening his packed lunch up at dinner and pulling out........a 6 pack of Jam Tarts!  The hairy stinking butch builder-types let him know that it's probably not the most butch pack-up to reveal on site.  Chips?  No problem.  You've got to eat them without washing your hands though.

Will it be chips or jacket spuds? 
Will it be salad or frooowzen peas?

I also helped to install some cabins onto a site on Worthing seafront, surrounded by  I was up a ladder with a four tonne cab being lifted over my head by a crane when I noticed something "chat-like" flick around the corner.  Black Red?!  Really?  I leaned out beyond the bottom cabin to try and see where it went.  The four tonne thing over my swede can wait.  Poor Health and Safety skills, but it looked like a Black Red so I think you're allowed to.  I did not see the chat-like thing again until the next day when a dapper, spanking male Black Red flew towards me and perched up not far away.  It payed no attention to the bright orange high-viz jacket I....

....was wearing.....

......and it came closer still and perched close enough for me to see brown tertials and primaries, so as a first winter (2nd calendar year) male?  Bonser.




  1. Will it be mushrooms,
    fried onion rings?
    we'll av to wait and seeeeeee

  2. Hello Toby. If you notice the bloke sat front left in the "hope it's chips" advert, he was in Young Ones; "I've just been 'round me neighbours house to borrow a drill (diabolical laughter) but he wasn't in, so I broke in and ate his fish won't catch me with me trousers...." Interesting huh?

  3. That's well spotted qatspurn, he was also called toby who was a right spoilt bastard in 5 go mad in dorset and a willing punchbag in a fistful of travellers cheques, it's a euro rover old man.

  4. I'm a McCain Oven Chip - fan
    Great for the kids and the old - man
    Better than chips from a chip - pan
    40% LESS FAT!

  5. Ah, yes Toby. "Everybody happy, la la la la-la la la.....he's a-my besta frienda" Like it.

  6. Chicken or ham don't take long. Mmmm.
    Garlic sausage, meaty tongue. Mmmm.
    Anon, say what you want about corny, convoluted jingles, they do seem to work!