Thursday, 3 January 2013

Black Hole Shenanigans

I'm sorry I haven't bothered you for some time.  Bitterly sorry.  My lack of bothering you lied with the supposed "end of the world" and my deep apathy for the whole idea.  The Mayan calendar?  I did not post for a while as if the "end of the world" was REALLY nigh then what's the point of posting?  It would be a waste of everyone's time and that time would be precious to us all at that point in the universe. Then I realised that I really didn't believe the notion of the "end of the world" just because some marginal Guatemalan pseudo-religion's calendar was about to finish, but THEN I was in no way going to post such apathy before the 21st of December, no way Jose.  I mean, what if I berated the Mayans and all their misadventure and claimed that it was all nonsense only to be proved wrong?  How would I look then?  Just as a huge asteroid broke through the Earth's atmosphere and hurtled down to wreak devastation and the end of civilisation, you'd be thinking "That Q hasn't got a fucking clue what he's talking about" and you would've been right.  As the Swiss scientists (et al) were colliding particles searching for dark matter and particles such as the Higgs Boson and accidentally created a black hole thus creating an infinite gravitational pull which would ultimately condense the world (with you inside) down the size of a small pea, they all laughed as they were stretched infinitely and chuckled "That Q looks very stupid now, ja?"

So I couldn't win.  You see?

I was gonna do a "joke" that the leader of the Mayans is Simon Salad Cream, who has a sort of lumpy face, but then realised that:

a)   No one would get it
b)   The "joke" is ripped hopelessly from Viz, and
c)   It's not really a very good joke.

So I didn't

Hang on.  I think I'm onto something about black holes....

.....hang on, bear with me......

.......right.  Right, I think I've got it.  A black hole is created when a giant star becomes so massive it's gravity outweighs it's mass and it implodes under its own gravity, sort of.  Right?  So, whatever the Swiss scientists could ever do, it couldn't add any mass at all to the mass already inside the atmosphere, right?  If you have a ball that weighs one kilogram whatever you did inside it wouldn't add mass would it?  Unless you poured some sugar in.  So there.  The Black hole theory disproved, just like I proved that Time Machines will NEVER exist (click here).  Do I win a prize?

Or actually they may be thinking that a relative black hole could be created within our time/space but only relative on a very small scale?  No, it can't be right, Quantum Physics works for the very large AND the very small.  I know I talk some shite but if anyone can comment further, please do.

Example of a Black Hole.
Although this is of course an artists impression and
not a very accurate impression of one at that.
So there.

Another example of a Black Hole,
Our lasses fucking purse.


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