Twitching!

Today I awoke with Paul Youngs subliminal classic “Every Time You Go Away” in my head. The old joke about the song  being a Butchers shop favourite of course entered proceedings, so I strutted around the house singing Every Time You Go Away, you take a piece of meat with you… much to my childish amusement. The kids unanimously agreed “Dads off his fucking head again…”

Yesterday, it was Eighties TV ads (that got stuck in my head). It all started with “The champion Mushy Peas - that’s these! Batch batch batch Batchelors! The champion Mushy Peas!” I couldn’t get it out of my head. 

Has any other or my reader(s) ever awoken with an eighties advertisement jingle regarding Mushy Peas before? We’d LOVE to hear from you if you have. 

Then, on HOOVERING (it’s fucking hoovering, yes, I realise it’s a trade name that has become a colloquialism in everyday life, but that’s how it’s become to be known. NOT vacuuming. No way, sir. A bit like spam. That’s different actually. Chimley. Instead of Chimney. Chimley IS a word) I became obsessed with Eighties hoover-in scented carpet cleaner/freshener Shake ‘n’ Vac. Note to self: Parentheses way too long: reader may not follow. 

“You do the shake n vac and put the freshness back, do the shake n vac and put the freshness back. If your carpet smells fresh, your room does too! Every time you vacuum (bah) remember what to do, you do the shake n vac and put the freshness back”. 

Two things about this. 

1) Has anyone ever had that pop in their head when they’re NOT hoovering?

2) The lyric “If your carpet smells fresh, your room does too…” is genius! Who, in their right mind, would offer that up as a catchy jingle? I don’t know, but it’s worked, as I still remember it! 

3) There is no number three.

Grey Headed Lapwing Northumberland. Been in the country maybe c.28 days? First time around, I got within an hour of it but had to sack it off due to alcoholism. This time around, I was determined! Determined. I am the quickest twitcher off the mark. If some big news breaks, I just go insane to get there. So when news broke that it was back at East Chevington I decided to set off some twenty days later and you know how twitchers like to get there near dawn? Well dawn was around seven (I haven’t got a clue tbh) so if I set off at four, three hours there, half hour with the bird, three hours home, I’m home at 1030 to conduct more tests on the ex. True to form, shit-hot twitcher, I arrived on site at 1150am, around ten minutes before the afternoon was due to begin. 

I saw it though. It was, like, proper good. And that. The next day it was nowhere to be seen. Or the next. 

Maybe it’s dead.

…..