zusammenfassen Fünf. Scheiße, ich habe die verdammten Kinder verloren

Apparently now white people now own more dogs than black people. That’s obviously because it’s illegal to own black people these days.
Stats show nothing, therefore.
Apart from this: Pacific Swift have been recorded only 9 times in Britain.
But I’m guessing so it’s not really a stat is it?

I was sat, pondering, on a Saturday morning, football season yet to start in earnest, pondering what to do with the kids for the day. I had chicken phal for breakfast, I have chicken or lamb phal for either Saturday or Sunday breakfast every week, to the point of eldest daughter, when she receives her breakfast says “You having curry, Dad?”.
“Yeah Roobs”.
“Well it is Saturday/Sunday” she says very blasé.
I was about to start drinking when a text came through: “can you put that washing in, and don’t leave you’re empty cans all over the place”.
She moans. They all fucking moan.
But more in relation to this shite (I mean blog) came “possible Pacific or White Rumped Swift Hornsea Mere, doing a piss over eastern end” from Joel, 42, of Leeds.
Right.
I saw the White  Rumped Swift at Hornsea Here (first for Britain no less) so I presumed, like many others, that Prince Andrew knew a lot fucking more than he let on. In fact, why has it just been forgotten about? It was lucky that The Palace announced Garry and Megan’s malarkey just after, which took a lot of the heat off our Andy. Funny that, eh?

Anyway, like many others,  I actually presumed that it was the White Rump turning up again, but I set off anyway with some (maybe none) cans of cider for the journey. Further updates (definitely in lay-bys) suggested that this Swift was actually, maybe, possibly a Pacific Swift! And all above board legally, as in over eighteen.

By the time I got there it WAS a Pacific Swift and there it was just sort of, like, flying about approximately three miles away and I’d only got bins! Ha. Should’ve gone and got my scope, but if I had I would’ve missed it as after this sighting it was never seen again! Never ever. That was lucky, not great views but lucky.



Hang on a minute, where’s the fucking kids....?




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