Did anyone see the Supergran episode this morning? Jesus H Christ it was good wasn't it? Supergran investigated a school dinner money racket which was run by the school bully. He basically took the dinner money off the boys and spent it on cheap cider and smack just like Zammo, and fingered all the girls. What the fingering had to do with the story I don't know, but Supergran got onto it and met the bully right where he did his dirty work - behind the bike sheds. Sheds has an amazing selection of options on predictive text, sheer, sides, rider, sheep, rides, and of course sheds. Bike has less options. How very fucking interesting. Supergran came strutting from behind them there bike sheds like she couldn't stop a pig in an alleyway. 'Did you stop that bully taking the poor boys dinner money Supergran?' Said Mr Mavity the headteacher. 'Did I fuck' said Supergran 'but I'm meeting him again same time tomorrow!' Good old Supergran. Hang about der der, look out, for Supergran. I wonder what the H stands for in Jesus H Christ? Hairy? Maybe, cos he was a right hairy fucker I've seen the photos. Anyway Happy New Year and all that. How's the year list going? Me? Oh I've managed to reach the magical 18 already. I don't get out enough really. I'm sure you've already realised that because I always end up writing about the Professionals and bastard Supergran instead of tales of dawn til dusk stomping on the coast. Saying that, even when I have got something bird related to tell you like when I twitched the Western Sand I still end up talking shite instead of fine tooth combing the finer detail of 1st winter peeps. Maybe I should stick to talking shite. It's what you expect. Lets face it no one reads this to be enlightened, they merely read it to hear swear words like sphincter, balls and big black cocks interspersed with the odd birding record. So to fit in with this blog's style, here's today's post: Not much local apart from common waders and a few Pink Feet west. Have a fucking bit of that, cock suckers. Unsurprisingly, the word sphincter has no alternatives on predictive text.

Apparently the 'H' stands for Harold. Possibly. On a play on words from Hallowed. Again, apparently.