Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Come on Spring, Give me Something to Post About Instead of the Following Bollocks

Hey, Thayer's Gull might taste like pumpkin pie but I'd never know cos I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker.

What in god's name has gone on?  I've read last nights efforts and it seems that some fucker has highlighted certain words as advertising links!  How do they do that?  Not sure what's going on.  Are they allowed to do that?  Anyway if you think I've sold out and 'monetised' the site then I haven't.  Although do feel free to visit any of the sponsored links that appear on here, particularly B&M stores who really do offer great value for money on all your household needs right across their 2,000 stores nationwide.  But really, who the fuck has done that to my elegantly written post?  That's art that.

After my post on directions re the Thayer's Gull, things changed quite quickly and the "white tanker" field had suddenly become viewable from a (maybe not so) public track.  Farmer Palmer did actually come up thar in that thar tracurr and never shouted get arf ma land so perhaps it was public after all?  Obtained much better views than the previous seventeen visits so it was as brilliant as it gets.  Or maybe it was just a deep shitty brown thing that was in a shitty field, walking in shit and eating...........shit.  Thayer's Gulls sleep and eat in shit.  That's a filthy animal.
And now all you bird fanciers, have a look at my anti bird shit deterrent.  Maybe that's a double negative.  A bird shit anti-deterrent would attract bird shit wouldn't it?  Oh I don't know.
Anyway, here's my new device to stop filthy pigeons SHITTING on your car.  It will also work for filthy bastard Thayer's Gulls with their filthy shitty habits.

Hilarious Q.  Yawn.

In the news this week was Simon Cowell's admission of an affair with Danni Minogue.  I loved his comments.  When asked what attracted him to her he said "It was the sexy clothes and tits" hahaha how crass can you be about Kylie's baby sister?  It's sounds like something I'd say on here.  He might as well of said "Well, you know, it was her terrific sexy clothes and hairy arsehole that did it for me."

I've got some great Man U updates for you but that will have to wait for another day cos yesterday I got the craziest of all house ticks.  Peregrine!  Over Hessle!  My first over Hessle ever yet they used to be seen now and again on the Humber Bridge.  It was high and being harassed by a couple of gulls from the Herring taxa.  I looked up to look at the expected Sparrowhawk circling but the wing shape, you know that Peregrine wing shape?  Well it had that wing shape.  Earlier in the day 3 Canadian Gooses goosed past the house going west.  Cool and the gang.

'What' ain't no country I ever heard of.


Saturday, 21 April 2012

Can't really think of a title.

This is the god's honest truth.  I've been trying to post for the last few days but I've been that bladdered that I haven't quite managed it.  I started a post on Monday night, blogger auromatically saved it before I gave it up as a bad job.  Reading between the lines it looks like I was about to go on a Man U rant but got frustrated and just starting typing whatever I was thinking at the time.  I know I talk some shite but this is honestly what I'd wrote that night,  It was a Monday after all:

shit maN DO I#VE JUST HIT THE CAPS LOCK BY ACCIDENT.  There.  Sorted.  I am, of paralethic.  Is there really qa h in paraletic?  I think there is.  so, shit man do.  I went for thirds of the Thayer's Gull on Wednesday or Thursdqay I caqn't  really remember pet.  It was a bequtiful beautiful dark brown shitty brown ball of juvenile brown shit that I've ever seen in my life.  As for MAN U, they're just cunts and oh fuck off you set oif nancs bastards,  have you hewqard of a playr called tosicw who apparently playeed for them cunts oh fuck off i;m about as fuc4de as fucked xcqan be i cant even type ill lreavre it as thas.

Hell's teeth!  I should probably address my drink problem but first..................

.......the last few posts have been done off mobile which meant no opportunity to place the usaul random images that afflict this blog.  Well, fuck you all cos I'm on the mother in laws laptop whilst she's a broad (sic) so I can now BOMBARD you fuckers with utter randomness such as this:

Pigs in Blankets are nice aren't they?  It looks like they've garnished them with old skool curly leaf parsley.  Why would you do that?

As I was trying to tell you all in my somewhat garbled drunken post that was auto saved fron drunken Monday, I went to see the Thayer's Gull yet again.  I've seen it 43 times now including 8 visits in the same day.  I only go this often because the bridge tolls have halved to £1.50 each way.  Think of the money I'm saving.  I started looking into the taxonomy of this species but, to be fair I've had enough of typing this late on a Saturday night and my chicken phal has just arrived.

You slags.

Impromptu all nighter last last lead to a Leo Sayer today which ultimately leads to chicken phal action from some local Indian chefs who cook whatever I want.  They even drop it off for me in exchange for money. 

I've got loads to talk about from Rio Ferdinand being a twat to Danni Minogues flaps but I can't be bothered.  Sorry.  I will do it tommorrow.

Can I have fifty pounds to mend the shed?


Friday, 6 April 2012

Info on viewing the Thayer's Gull

For anyone going to have a look for the Thayer's Gull in yellow-belly country, here's my thoughts on viewing based on my time there yesterday. The original site is along the minor road from the 'roundabout junction' of the A15/M180 to the village of Elsham. There's a small electric building/station/can'treallythinkoftherightword halfway along which is opposite the ploughed field where the bird had been found. The viewing from here is pretty limited as the gulls settle just over the brow. In my opinion this is where the bird feeds for most of the day it's just that you'll realistically only get brief flight views from here unless you're very lucky. From here, the bird goes to bathe and generally chill out with his home boys on an area within Elsham Hall itself. Follow the road from the original site through the village until you reach a T junction. Go left. Left I said. Then go left into Elsham Hall and park ABSOLUTELY ANYWHERE leaving your car or moped strewn across the road or even leave it rammed into a farmers gate like I did. The chill out area can be viewed from here, in fact set your scope up on the roof of your car (or moped) and view from atop your vehicle. Atop? Good word. The bird came into this area 2 or 3 times yesterday spending 20 minutes or so at a time. This is, realistically the best place to get it on the deck but will require some patience.

In summary, you have two options, 1 stake out the original site and get lucky (also, if it's found at the chill out zone you should still have time to connect from here) or 2 stake out the chill out zone and wait and if it does show, it shows well.

There. Just my opinions. And not one swear word. If this helps just one person, I will have a warm glow for the whole Easter period, safe in the knowledge that I have helped a fellow human in my quest for a beautiful world.

Edit: the bird is missing a primary on the right plus two central tail feathers which allows you to get onto suspects even at height.