…That is the greatest title for a post that I, sorry my team here at Q@Spurn have ever come up with. Ever. Don’t argue, Just go with it and remember it, but I’m pretty sure I’ll remind you about it at the end anyway.
I’ve been twitching and as this is a “birding” blog my team have decided to tell you about it. Them. I twitched two different species, in different counties, on different days. The first being a Quail in Lincolnshire. Now, for the non-birders out there, a Quail is a small game bird, quite rare, but not exactly that rare but they hang around in barley fields and are pretty much impossible to see. I myself haven’t actually seen one which shows how hard they are. To see. Like They have a distinctive bubbling call “Blip-blip-blip-blip….” a bit like a Chinese water fountain, like the one in Kill Bill where Uma Thurman scalps the chink, that sort of thing. Rarely, the odd Quail frequents the edges of a barley field and is therefore visible very occasionally, so when Birdguides reported “Quail - Lincs - one singing/calling from field edge” then I thought Id give it a go.
On arrival, it was typical habitat for a Quail. Barley field, quite trimmed wide, open edges to the field, it looked like there was a chance if it was actually showing.
Almost immediately, I heard a “Quail” “Blip-blip-blip-blip….” but something wasn’t quite right. The next time I heard it, it sounded different, a different tone, but then it sounded like a Quail again “Blip-blip-blip-blip….” a bit like a Chinese water fountain, like the one in Kill Bill where Uma Thurman scalps the spring link. But it was coming from underneath a Hawthorn-based hedge?! Something’s not right here. A Quail would not be under a Hawthorn-based hedge, oh no sir.
I got in as close as I could and found a stream under said hedge and presume mother nature had built a sort of build up/waterfall where the water releases and makes a sound like “Blip-blip-blip-blip….” a bit like a Chinese water fountain, like the one in Kill Bill where Uma Thurman scalps the kitchen sink. The water in the stream’s dribble sounded quite a lot like a Quail!
The “Quail” was a stream.
I’d twitched a stream.
Looking back, I maybe should have reported the negative news to Birdguides? I can only imagine the reports:
“Quail - Lincs negative news. Reported Quail is a stream”.
Would they then have to update news on the stream?
“Stream - Lincs one adult stream still calling regularly. Park sensibly”
So I dipped a Quail, but successfully twitched a stream. Now here’s the reprise! A week later Birdguides reported that the “Quail” was still calling from field edges! Park sensibly. What kind of madness is this?! The same guy is going there and listening to this stream then reporting it again as a Quail! He is truly my hero.
This is EXACTLY the same as when Arnie goes into the biker bar in Terminator 2 bollocko and asks a hells angel for his “clothes and his motorcycle”. But what you’ve never thought about is does Arnie borrow his kegs? Just have a think about that detail and all the side thoughts that go with it.
Cheers.
The next twitch-dip-surprising reprise twitching story sees me hurtling towards Spurn for a Buff-Breasted Samdpiper. I’ve seen these before but a) not at Spurn and b) not in Yorkshire so a valuable double tick on two of the three lists I keep. I went to Kilnsea Wets and Beacon Ponds but, alas, there was no sign of the Buff Breast and, mainly disgruntled, I went home and drank apple-based drinks. DIP
Reprise Number 1: The VERY next day it was reported again! So off I went and made the arduous traipse up Beacon Lane and made to the hide (around 1345 - take note) where the Buff Breast was present but at a distance of at least forty miles. Well, it was distant. So distant, it took me a while to get on it. I wouldn’t have called it at that range if I didn’t know it was one but hey, similar in size to a nearby Dunlin (take note). I then went home a drank apple-based drinks. SUCCESS
Reprise Number 2: Around 3pm Birdguides and Spurn twitter reported negative news stating that all sightings after 1300 were erroneous a Ruff was in the area!!!! So it wasn’t one? DIP? But it was one pre 1300hrs? SUCCESS! Wait I saw it at 1400hrs! DIP! No. Wait. No one can tell me what I saw. Although distant, it looked good for Buff Breast and didn’t give a Ruff feel and certainly wasn’t the size of Ruff. SUCCESS!
It was just like the scene in Terminator 2 when Arnie walks in the biker bar. Imagine when they’re swapping clothes? Surely a bit awkward? Arnie’s stood there naked The Hells Angel takes his jacket off but that has to go to one side as the t-shirt obviously has to go on first. Bit of an awkward situation isnt it? The biker then takes his t-shirt off and Arnie can put that straight on. Arnie’s now stood naked from the waist down and the biker is naked from the waist up. Getting awkward now. The biker then takes his boots off but they have to be put aside as the jeans and kegs need to go on first. Then he takes his jeans off but they also need to be put aside as the kegs (if Arnie wants them) have to go on next. So Arnie is still stood naked from the waist down, whilst the biker is now just in his crackers. Bit awkward this. The biker is unsure if a cyborg really needs or wants a bikers used kegs so he breaks the ice by saying “Do you want my kegs?” whilst stood just in his kegs and Arnie is naked from the waist down. “Yes, I want your kegs” says Arnie and points to some chaifing so the biker takes his kegs off and gives them to Arnie and now has to wait, now fully naked, while Arnie puts in his kegs, then his jeans, then his boots, then takes his motorcycle. What a situation.
It’s no wonder they didn’t film that bit. If you ask me.
The post title is good though isnt it? Come on? “Stream” “Buffering” Stream, Buff Breasted Sand, all brought together in a nod to early 2000s internet porn when the stream always buffered on the vinegar strokes. It’s exactly the same as the scene in Terminator 2…….etc etc….
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