I knew I had something to tell you....

...or nothing as the case may be.

Just a polite notice to everyone who e-mailed me asking for Ollie's number:

No, he doesn't always dress like that and no, you can't meet him privately.  And particularly to "therapist" via Private Message on Birdforum:  I really don't think he does that sort of thing, but yes, his Norks are nice.  Also, I think you've missed a space out of your username, I think there should be a space after the "e" but thanks for getting in touch.

So what did I have to tell you?
Well, I went vis-migging and chose probably the quietest day at Spurn for a while. I was "expecting" a Red-Rumped Swallow or a Monty's at some point which shows just how Spurn has been this Spring.  Expect a Red-Rump?  Expect a Monty's?  You almost come away disappointed this year if you don't see at least one of these or something rarer like Bee-eater, Black Kite, Purple Heron......etc. 

As I say, today was relatively quiet with Swallows at a trickle.  Still, I'd missed a Serin by an hour and then decided to go check Sammy's as nearly all birders on site where vis-migging at the top of Clubley's (rightly so, even during a "quiet" day, they sit/stand all day and always pull something decent - rewards for the dedication I suppose, just look at the quality and quantity HERE).  I popped into Easington shop for a sarnie and bumped into Garry.  Then on reading his account for the day it must've been just as I left the shop his radio went off and he shot off to catch up with a Monty's at the narrows!  Big Brown Balls.  The Monty's had totally bypassed me as I got to Sammy's.  Still, at Sammy's there was MASSIVE recompense with a Cuckoo, 2 Yellow Wags, 3 Wheatears and some horses.  One horse had it's horse cock out and it obviously knew it.  When I say it looked at me funny, it really did, and honestly it was a proper funny look.  It was quite unnerving really, it was stood about 7 feet away, fence between us mind, but it stared at me and followed me with his eyes as I went past.  It KNEW it had it's big black horse cock out and it was as if it was looking for some sort of reaction from me.  I kid you not.  I've decided horses are fucking bombed out when they've got their cocks out and will have nothing to do with them in this state in the future.

Hoss Cock

Vis-migging totals:
352 Swallows
32 House Martin
1 Marsh Harrier (north)
3 Alba Wags (north)
1 Turnstone
some other stuff,
no Monty's
no horse
4 Losing interest with this
12 Better end it (north)
74 Getting silly now
1 Tawny Pipit a few days later on Lagoons which showed quite nicely considering the HOWLING wind and a probable Water Pipit which looked just like a Water Pipit except that I couldn't see it's head for some dense grass.

Water Pipette

Betwixt the lack of Monty's and the Tawny was a lack of Black Stork.  I had an airport run (Heathrow) so popped just a couple of miles off the M1 on the way back and didn't see the Black Stork that had been around for a few days.  Then I came home to see this on the TV:

BBC News: Bad drivers to face £100 fines

Seems a bit sexist.
 
Then I sat down and started checking last nights lottery.
"If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is a face lift and a boob job" said my 49 year old girlfriend as I was checking it.

"Fuck that, the first thing I'm gonna get is a reconditioned engine and a respray for my Mondeo" I replied.

"Why would you waste your money tarting that old thing up, you might as well get yourself a new one" she said.

"My point exactly."




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Genuine Guest Entry.

I've got birding tales to tell you, honestly, tales of no Black Storks, no Red Rump Swallows and definately no Montagu's Harrier.  But that's as maybe.  But as for today...hang on I've just started two sentences with conjunctions.  Is this okay?  To be honest I'm not particularly bothered.  The Bible is full of them.

"And Jesus bestowed onto Moses the artful deed and asked him to come forth.  Let them praise his name in the dance: let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and the harp. And Moses paid Magdalene 15 Guineas for the sordid deed" Matthew 25:17

I digress (trans: talk shite).

But as for today we have a proper bona fide guest entry!  Perhaps the previous guest entries from LEE and DAVE THE LORRY DRIVER weren't exactly genuine (really?) but today's is.  Honestly!  Why do you not believe me? 

Today's post is from Glenn Howard "Ollie" Oliver, 40, from Hessle.  Ollie tells us all about his day at Flamborororough.  Ollie looks like this:

This is nothing to do with his stag night at all.

Take it away Duice:


So, that was that then.

After a while of pondering 'what's that twitching lark all about?' and being asked by MQ to do a guest blog quite some time ago, I decided to take the tribe up to Flamborough with a telescope to look for some birds, maybe me and the little one can catch sight of Guillemot, Puffin, Fulmar, Kittiwake or Oystercatchers. I ripped that off the RSPB information board.

As it happens we didnt see anything of the sort. Only gulls making a racket and shitting everywhere, namely on my car. Bastard gulls. Telescopes aren't very good for catching sight of fast flying birds. We did see some dead blokes ashes plopped in a big mound overlooking the North Sea though, I know it was a bloke because it had some flags in it saying grandad and uncle. Also saw some gull corpses, some sheep and I think a low flying Cormorant, are they big black things with a long neck that fly quite low over the sea?

Needless to say I was underwelmed with this ornithology stuff and so was the little one, but she loved the ice cream and i bought some fresh crab and crayfish tails, so not a wasted journey then.

Something I did notice, you'll never be stuck for a seat at Flamborough, must be a garden furniture dumping ground nearby....

Glenn



p.s. I did see the bird thats shown in the photo at work if thats any good, does that make me a twitcher now? I think it had a red bill.

It's a bastard Goldfinch Ol.

Well, thanks to Ollie there.  I liked the bit about never being stuck for a seat.  There are about 48 benches situated "in loving memory of" people who "loved the view from here".  We pondered this together in the Granby.  Before they all died and had a bench placed in memoriam of them, they all must have had to stand up and admire the view.  There used to be loads of them just stood there, in random places keeping themselves to themselves looking out to sea in the bracing sea air.  Gradually, the people were replaced with benches with small, gold plaques on them. 

In Loving Memory of

George Albert Spim

He loved the view from here.

................

Note addition of tights (his idea) and Cardigan.

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Just back from Bolton Abbey

Been to Bolton Abbey this morning on the back of evidence that the Rock Bunting was indeed there a while ago and the fact that not many people have been to search for it.  I managed a possible but I'm not very good at Buntings to be honest.  I got a photo on my phone through bins for what it's worth.  Has anyone any suggestions?

I know it's a bit blurred but there was a Wood Warbler singing which put me right off.

Thanks in advance.

Seriously, DON'T click on the image.

My PC has been behaving as if it's had a virus even though

a scan shows nothing.

........and don't fill the car up and point it towards the Dales....





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Part III

So after North Cave Wetlands where I saw the Caspo burger (I've since decided that the bill was fine for a Caspo burger and I should stop pretending that I have the slightest clue about Gulls, particularly sub-adult Gulls) I bricked it straight to Spurn. Gee, it was windy. Not many birders around though. I went to the Warren and had a look for the female Subalpine Warbler which showed very well for 10 minutes down to 10 yards.

The end.




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North Cave Wetlands and Spurn Bird Observatory Oh Yeah.

Good evening.

Today I went to North Cave Wetlands and Spurn Bird Observatory, so today's title is not misleading at all. NCW is one of those places where you have to be placed in a hide to view the area. Turret Hide gives an almost 360 degree view of the area so it was from here that I chose to look for the Caspian Gull that had been frequenting the reserve. I picked up a suspect immediately. The bloke on my right had tattoos so I thought he had to be an alright bloke. Tatts equals decent bloke. How wrong I was. He was a right CUNT. That's right, I used the word CUNT. I asked this CUNT if he was looking for the Caspian and if so I've got a probable here if you'd like to take a look? He CHUNTERED 'it was here this morning' so I helpfully followed it up with offering to put him on the bird. Do you know what the CHUNTERING CUNT said? I'll tell you, nothing! He said fuck all and glared at me for quite a few seconds. Proper glared at me. You can't help some people. Anyway, the Caspian looked like one to me, but I'm a bit rubbish, apart from the bill which looked slightly too bulky and a little hooked. But like I say, I'm a bit rubbish.

The End.

I'll tell you about Spurn tomorrow cos I'm reading the spanking new edition of the 2010 report which you all should buy you bastards.

Do you think I'm abusive to you, my sad and lonely readers? I mean, I just called you bastards! Perhaps I shouldn't call you bastards from now on.


I'll try to stop.




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Easterlies

Going East for the next few days. Could do with some drizzle on the coast to put them all down. Could be a good weekend guys and gals. So fuck the Royal wedding and fuck the DIY. Saying that it's 15% off at B&Q all weekend so that's good news for Kate as she's sure to need some new backdoors.





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Twitch Aggro

Continuing Spurn's excellent start to the spring, a Savi's Warbler was found at Sammies.  This is only the second record for the "greater Spurn area" and follows other local megas that have graced the Observatory already this spring.  The White-Spot Bluethroat was the first for 50-odd years, the Red-Crested Pochard the first for the official recording area, and the Purple Heron only the second record ever, plus the Ring-necked Parakeet that is a pending addition to the Spurn and Yorkshire list.  Spurn megas!

With Nicola and the girls in tow, we had to stop at shop to get cigarettes, then we had to stop at Patrington to get drinks for children even though I'd told her to fill bottles up beforehand, then Nicola had a fag 'whilst we're stopped', then we got to Sammies 5 minutes after it was last seen then never, ever, ever, ever seen again.  This is of course Nicola's fault.  I have of course suddenly decided to rebuild our patio even though there's nothing wrong with it.  This weekend. 

I gave it some time then decided that the little critter was sitting low for a while in the mid-day sun and thought that it would become more active and show after tea.  This plan was implemented but was not successful.

On my first attempt I was stood around talking to this bloke with no hat on, when another bloke wandered past in a mint green cap.  Another bloke in a wide brimmed hat said to the mint-green capped man "Dear oh dear!"  At this point I must add that these blokes were definitely in their 70s.  The conversation continued:
MintGreenCap:  "I beg you pardon?"
WideBrimmedHat  "Dear oh dear, you could've walked 'round"
MGC:  "Erm....what?"
WBH:  "I was looking through my binoculars when you walked across right in front of me"
MGC:  "Well what did you want me to do?"
WBH:  "I mean, how anti-social can you be?"
MGC:  "You ignorant pig"
WBH:  "Me?  You must be joking"
At this point the man in the Mint Green Cap visually started to lose his cool with the man in the Wide Brimmed Hat and said "Listen mate if you're looking for trouble you've found it..." and started taking his tripod off his shoulder.  "...now go away and don't come here again!" he continued as he walked off.
Twitch aggro!

What you fucking looking at?

How anti-social can you be? 

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