Colin Wanker
Whata wanker.
They don't do themselves any favours do they? They are the second most hated CLUB in the country (behind Man U obviously) they have probably the most hated CHAIRMAN* in the country, who appoints the most hated MANAGER in the country who signs the most hated PLAYER in the country! I mean come on, you couldn't make it up, even the L***s supporters that read this drivel know I'm right.
* Not by us of course. Indeed Hull City fans sung a chorus of "There's only one Ken Bates" at last night's game!
8th September 2012.
L***s fan, Mr J. Secret and I, travelled the 14 million miles down to Lodmoor in Dorset. We set off at around 5 in the a.m. and arrived at the wrong RSPB reserve in Weymouth just under three weeks later. We relocated to the correct RSPB reserve to find a strange man in strange attire looking through a telescope.
"Are you on it?" I enquired politely.
"Yes" said the strange man.
I had a quick scan of the scrape and scoped a wader. With a long beak. And that. It was a Blackwit. Mr J. Secret agreed of course. Was this strange man in strange attire really watching a Blackwit and thinking it was our quarry? Have we travelled 18 million miles to watch a starnge man in strange attire watch a Blackwit? No, we hadn't.
"It's over there" said the strange man in strange shoes and strange coat.
"Oh. Right. Erm.....cheers" said we and scoped the juvenile Short Billed Dowitcher which was showing really well. It looked good apart from a quite long, droop-tipped bill and solid centres to the scapulars. After a little research it seems the upper scaps can appear solid-centred, the lower ones having more of the tiger** pattern associated with juv SBDs. After looking at some photos the lower scaps do indeed look fine for Short Billed which wasn't so obvious in the field. That's enough of writing about proper parts of birds with proper names and everthing as I know little about bird identification and Killian Malarkey has said it is one and so has everyone else so that means it IS one and only the second record of the species on British soil following the Scottish bird from 97. Maybe it was 99.
We left the strange man in strange coat, strange shoes and strange hat to find lots more strange men in strange hats and strange coats watching the bird from a closer viewpoint. It was here I met my new mate. He latched onto me immediately and guided me through the entirity of his train journey from Bristol. Four hours later and a new found depth of knowledge of the South West rail network, we left and headed for Portland Bill. We had a terrific seawatch in the hope of some Balearics with the highlights being:
1 Gannet (which Secret picked up going west)
2 Really strange things which were sort of swimming but never broke the surface. We offered up answers as to what they were which ranged from Ocean Sunfish to Lobster pots! As you can see we were a bit stumped.
4 Cormorant (west)
1 Pigdog
and Tripitaka out of Monkey (west)
That was it.
We pressed on and went hunting migrants with 5+ Wheatear and a Little Owl being the only things we saw. Apart from a Buzzard.
**this is not meant as a reference to "The Tigers" who won at (B) Ellend Road last night.
Pigs smell, Monkeys don't
We drove home, with the return journey taking what seemed much longer than the journey down there, almost certainly due to me still being completely drunk from the night before.
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