Shetland. The Third Day.

 Wednesday. Rain. Rain. Rain. 

I’d rather it not rain but it also meant I didn’t have to get up before dawn. Luckily I don’t get hangovers as I simply carry on drinking. The weather cleared up a little so we checked our regular spot, Veensharth and saw FUCK ALL It really is easy to see fuck all on Shetland but then you see a Pechora or a Lancey but no Chiffchaff. It is quite insane. We then covered our other regular spots and saw FUCK ALL. 

Because of seeing fuck all, we at Q@Spurn will regale you with……

Fun Shetland facts.

Shetland used to be a piece of Norway but broke off somehow and floated off into the ocean with a mind of its own. 

The population of Shetland is widely and evenly distributed around the islands as it may tip up if everyone stood at one end or summat.

Shetters, as they’re now known, will put ANYTHING in a pie. Lasagne pies, Macaroni cheese pie, even Pork Pies. I had to try a Lasagne Pie last year as they’re quite famous. Do you know what it tasted like my beloved reader? I’ll tell you. It was like a cold lasagne suspended in pastry. 

Not deep freeze. 

10cc are the only band that we know of to write a song about cold lasagne. I think Eric Stewart must be some sort of simpleton. 

Feel the Benefit is a proper tune. We had 10cc live at wembley arena on betamax back in the 80s. 

Why was there two kinds of video recorder? VHS and Betamax? Why wasn’t there just one? Or three kinds? 

Scotch video tapes had a lifetime guarantee. We at Q@Spurn have no comment or opinion on this. Thankyou sir.

Jimmy the Jews dad, Ken, had every episode of M*A*S*H on betamax. He never watched them although this is unconfirmed. 

MASH is an acronym for Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. Well of course it’s surgical! A non surgical hospital?  It really doesn’t need the surgical bit but I suppose it’s more catchy as MASH as opposed to MAH. 

In America they have mash in KFCs. The foodstuff, not 53 betamax tapes. Maybe it would be good if they had video tapes of M*A*S*H? “Do you want mash with that?” And they give you a betamax tape with Hawkeye on the front and two pieces of dead dismembered chicken. Bit graphic.

ELO is also an acronym which stands for Electric Light Organisation. (credit: JC)

ELO have never played Shetland as they’re not THAT organised to plan the logistics. 

There is no KFC on Shetland. 

Shetland is good for birding. Apparently. 

There. A seamless segway. So, back on Shetland, we marched on. We’re not massive listers, but we’re not shy either. But we’ve “only” seen two yanks warblers each. Joel, Yellowthroat and Yellow Rumped, and I, Blackpool and Yellow Rumped. On checking news, which you do every 49 seconds on Shetland, a Yank warbler had been found! Yes, come on! A third mega in as many days! I actually let out a little groan of disappointment when it broke as Yellow Rumped Warbler. Neither of us needed it for our bird jotter super tick list. How can you be disappointed with a Yellow Rumped?! We went and saw it but, and as I say, we’re not big hitters but both earlyish to mid 400s, it was sort of ironic it was this species. It’s not all about the numbers, but it seriously helps. 

Still no recreational drugs. One member of the party was starting to shake. It wasn’t Joel as he’s a teacher and cannot be linked with that sort of thing on a public blog. Nor was it Mark as his mam is the only reader of this and will get grounded for a week.

We managed to watch the football and get a bit drunk, I refused to sleep with the local women as there weren’t any. We retired to a rather poor effort of a curry and chicken Biriyani made by myself earlier. The Biriyani was alright actually but the chicken in the curry was overcooked.  

There, cookery, pies, birding, ELOrganisation, no fingering, mash, what more do you want?  Three mega species in three days. 

1 Pechora 1 Lancey 1 Myrtle 1 Eastern Yellow Wag, 1 Hornemanns Arctic, 1 Chiffchaff 0 Robin! Insane. Absolutely insane. 

Fin

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