As this is a birding blog and there’s lots of Waxwings around I’ve had to (obviously) analyse the pressing topic of female waxing habits.
And that’s a great segway.
After deep deliberation, we at Q@Spurn have deduced that only on 2 days in 2/3 weeks they’re happy with their leg hair.
Sponsored by ClamSmooth (trademark) here’s our findings:
Women having their legs waxed. I get it. Smooth. A little treatment. Pampering. They can just brush spunk off without it getting caught up in pyoooobs. I get it. But, having their legs waxed isn’t simple, oh no.
No way.
They have to grow it/them for 2-3 weeks so the wax can get hold of them.
Now let’s analyse that. They want smooth legs. No problem. I get it. So what they do is grow their leg pyooobs for2-3 weeks then get them waxed so they’re really smooth.
Beaut. Nice. Fucking nice smooth shins.
But. 12-24 hours later, the stubble will be starting to poke through. They’ve gone 2-3 weeks with unshaven, outrageous, spiky, HAIRY, out-of-order, and fucking smelly (maybe) leg hair for the sake of 12-24 hours of smooth, creamy legs PLUS the cost of £15-£35 pounds?
For me, that doesn’t quite make sense.
I think this is all about the pampering aspect, something to tell their mate at the school gates an hour after they dropped their offspring off.
2-3 weeks of hairy legs for 1 day of smoothness? For 30 quid? All because of a night out maybe?
“i’ve had my legs and clam waxed cos we’re out innit, I didn’t get my anus done cos I won’t lettem go near that, my husband has had to put up with my hairy legs and clam for the last 2-3 weeks but fuck him, we’re out. And that.”
Blokes build up to a night out at 18 was to have a wank in the bath so they’d last longer if they pulled later.
Preparation.
Back to female clams and the waxing issue….
If the lucky victim had been waxed very recently then fine, you’ve caught them lucky, if they haven’t, you’re not bothered about the hairy legs, the mohair knickers. in fact you don’t even notice.
Has any bloke ever said:
“I aren’t shagging her, she might have hairy legs for them being waxed and, even worse, how am I gonna concentrate if she’s got hairy shins? I’ve had 14 pints of lager, a Diamond White,, two Mick Jaggers and a line of cheap whizz, I’m not risking shin hair, I’ll just go do a wank to Eurotrash”
“and a kebab”
No man has ever said that.
So men everywhere, tell your missus to shave various parts of their anatomy regularly and vice versa as and when you both feel it benefits all parties and have a deep, really deep, discussion about pyooooooooobs.
In summary, if I had to have various parts looking good, I’d much rather have them looking “fine” for 13-20 days of 2-3 weeks rather than looking “great” for one day of 2-3 weeks and the rest of the time it looks like a kebab that you spilt everywhere, or The Haywain by Constable, or the floor in a barbers shop at half four in the afternoon.
I don’t think I’ve ever looked at my many (7) conquests and actually KNOWN if they had hairy or smooth legs. You don’t do you? I’m ignorant you see.
Fin.
