“Where oh where have you been Q?” I hear you cry. I’ve been to Chapel St Leonard’s near Skeggy and looked right at the two Alpine Swift that were frolicking with gay abandon betwixt chimney stacks and the like. I like Alpine Swifts.
Thanks Leo. The 66 into town will never be the same.
In a seamless segway, speaking of pretending to drive buses with your own makeshift steering wheel, here’s some Van Halen facts:
1). Van Halen were named after their guitarist, Eddie Stevens. They could’ve been called “Lee Roth” if they'd chosen to name the band after lead singer Dave lee Roth.
2). There were two Van Halens in the original line up, Eddie and his brother. I can’t remember his brothers name.
3). Bros we’re called “Bros” because it’s short for “brothers” but bassist Ken Logan felt left out. And rightly so. Imagine being in a band where they’re all brothers, and the band is named BROTHERS, yet you’re not even related? They ignored Ken most of the time. I feel a bit sorry for Ken.
4). Ken had had enough one day, and refused to play bass whilst recording Cat Amongst the Pigeons. Ken sat in the corner and sulked word has it.
5). Matt and Luke just giggled and pointed at Ken and wouldn’t give him a Pop Tart for his dinner.
6). Ken was well hungry man, and rang his mum and his mum told him to come home and Ken went home and his mum did him super noodles and Ken ate them and felt loved again. Beautiful.
7). The original lyrics to “Jump” by Van Halen read “Can’t ya see me standin here I got my back against the jukebox, I ain’t the worst that you’ve seen, Ah can’t ya see what I mean?” but then pint sized pop singer Prince pointed out that it didn’t quite rhyme and suggested Record Ma-cheeeeyeeeen instead of Jukebox and they all agreed and then changed “seen” to seeee-yeeen” and “mean” to “meeeeeeyeeen!” ah might as well jump and the rest is history.
8). Most people called Van something are from Holland. And most of them play darts. Eddie van Halen once played Dave Lee Roth at darts. But not in Holland! I know, mad innit?
9) There is no number nine
10). Nobody can name more than two Van Halen songs. Even Van Halen fans. Or the band. Next time you see Dave Lee Roth ask him. He says “jump” four or five times.
Sainsburys:
“hi Dave, surely you don’t need that many teabags?”
“Well, I sure as hell do man”
“can you name three Van Halen songs?”
“Yeah, erm, Jump?”
“There’s one”
“Erm……What an Atmosphere?”
“Russ Abbott, Dave”.
“Green Door?”
“Shakey”
“what about Jump?”
“You’ve said that Dave”.
“Have I said Jump?”
“Yeah Dave”.
“What about I Surrender?”
“that was Rainbow Dave”
“Jump?”
“You’ve said that Dave”
“What was that one by Whitesnake?”
“it was by Whitesnake whatever it was Dave”
“Have I said Jump?”
“Yes. Dave”.
“Purple Rain?”
“Prince, Dave”
“Didn’t he write Jump?”
“A bit of it yes Dave”.
“I give in then. Where’s the Pop Tarts?”
