Sunday, 31 July 2022

Not a clue what I’m talking about

 Jesus. I’m not vain. I’m too good looking to worry about whether I’m good looking. That’s what my mother said anyway and giggled. Not sure what to make of that. 

So. I noticed a grey hair in my eyebrows today. One of them. What the fuck is all that about? Pyooooobs went long ago. Chest also. Pyooooobs is your first worry. When you see a grey pyoooooob it’s a sign. Let’s face it. Beard or hair goes first, but when the pyoooobs go it really is a worry. Even for the not very vain. Like me. 


But fucking eyebrows?!?! Pyooooobs I can handle. Just. But fucking eyebrows? I’m not having this. The endless drive that is time (and space) is relentless. “It” cares not about pyooooooooooooooooooooooooobs. Especially my pyoooooooooooooobs. 

Every atom in our bodies were at some point were part of a star. That’s mental. An average sheet of papers thickness is around the depth of 500000 atoms. I’ve spent the full day working this out so don’t question me. I’ve taken the ratio of an average piece of paper and compared it to one of my pyoooooooooooooooobs and found that my average pyooooooooob is circa 0 atoms in depth as I’ve shaved them off. The grey bastards. Not really. The remiges I analysed and found that, on average, (taking in a sample size of 560) my pyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooobs were approximately 766000 atoms in depth. More than 50% wider than a piece of paper. Now, at this point, I have to say, even for me, what the fuck am I on about? But I’ll carry on. 

So. Pyoooooooooooooobs (mine) were part of stars and my pyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooobs are also wider/deeper than paper. I’m not sure where this is going to be honest. 

I’ve got a grey eyebrow hair. I think that was the jist. gist? Yep. Gist. k

The moral of this story (like Monkee in the 80s) is that pyoooooooooooobs is the first shocker (your heard doesn’t matter) but your eyebrow - your fucking eyebrow, means more. 

You can shave pyoooooooooooooobs but not eyebrooooooooooooooooooooows.